The Secret of the Old Clock

Dear Claudine,

Though I am still somewhat a prsioner of politics, lately I have been able to turn away for brief moments of sanity. Take last night for example, Dan and I went to the library to check out a Banned Book Week event. Arriving a bit late we decided to peruse the book selection instead. I was feeling like a little something light, maybe "Are You There Vodka?, It's Me Chelsea!," or a collection of Dorothy Parker works. Maybe I would finally take that often delayed journey with "Johnathan Livingston Seagull." Yes, I'm completely random and uninspired when choosing a book to read. Have you read anything of note lately, Claudine? I'm dying to know what you thought about "The Davinci Code!" I thought it was complete shite myself. Anyway, back to the library... I found none of the books I was searching for, which ultimately turned out for the best. I ended up findng the perfect title for my anxious state of mind: "Nancy Drew and the Secret of the Old Clock." Doesn't it sound comfy and adorable? I'm very excited to find out what the "secret" is!

I know, I know... I have completely lost my mind. I blame 8 years of the cursed Bush administration and the increasingly triesome and hateful shenanigans of "the two mavericks."

Vote Obama!

Secretly,
The Saddest Ghost Boy

Something to Lose

Dear Claudine,

Sadly, I am a prisoner of politics at the moment. Still president bush just made a “speech” about his proposed “bailout.” Did you watch it? I couldn’t bear to listen to more than a couple of minutes. Listening to him speak makes me light headed. Does this happen to you as well? Earlier today maverick mccain said he was putting his campaign on hold because Washington needs his expert help with this horrifying economic crisis. It’s such an obvious and insulting (though not surprising I guess) political move. In addition mccain wants to delay Friday night’s debate. Says he wants to reschedule on the very night the vice-presidential debate is planned. He’s such a shit head Claudine! So transparent and desperate! Do you believe this? Such posturing! Such villainy! How can America allow this crazy shit to fly?! Obama must not lose! If he does, we ALL lose!

I hope this letter finds you well.

I remain,
The Saddest Ghost Boy

Until It's Time For You To Go

Dear Claudine,

I hate Sarah Palin.

And John McCain for that matter.

I just know that you understand.

Love,
The Saddest Ghost Boy

I Regret to Inform You....

Dear Claudine,

A couple of weeks ago I had an interview with a groovy creative agency that produces online games. The proper term for them is “advergames.” They are basically little arcade-style games you can play on your computer made to sell whatever great new movie or cereal or shoe or gee gaw “coming soon!” It was an ideal job that would have fostered creative energy and intellectual thought. It would have given me an outlet to express myself in an environment of artistic, high level exchange. And interact with clever, educated people. In a nutshell, it would have been a dream job. (The antithesis of where I currently work.) They had Sea Monkeys sitting on the receptionist’s desk for fuck sake! It was a job clearly meant for me! And yet, I received an email this morning from Sasha, the HR person, beginning with the words “I regret to inform you…” Oh Claudine, what went wrong? I was charming in my interview and fearlessly present and “on.” I thought I had made a connection with the top guy - and wrote a really smart piece of copy for some homework to prove my talent and savvy. And yet… Sasha regrets to inform me they have filled the creative copywriter position. But, sweet relief, they will keep my resume on file for future reference. I ask you Claudine, has anyone ever heard back from a company as a result of this ubiquitous yet highly suspect “future reference” claim?

‘Uh, yes, I was just going through this pile of rejected resumes and came across this one we’d stamped: file for future reference - and felt compelled to call!’

My only consolation was the fact that the new Feist CD “The Reminder” came out today. I went to Best Buy all excited about hearing my new favorite vocalist and, of course, they didn’t have a single copy. I will smile again Claudine. But not today.

Am I Blue (not a question),
Bradley

I Think It's Going to Rain Today

Dear Claudine,

I'm sure that you've heard by now... director Bob Clark and his son died in a car accident last week. Mr. Clark directed an eclectic array of films including the wonderful "Black Christmas," "Porky's" and that other seasonal favorite "A Christmas Story."

And I think it's going to rain today.

Sadly,
Bradley

Birthday Gift

Dear Claudine,

It’s been almost a month since my last correspondence. I apologize for not writing sooner, but March was a busy month. Several people had birthdays in March, including my own, and there was house organizing with a POD, a film festival and super villains that I had to thwart. So you see wonderful Claudine, I had very little time for a pleasant exchange. In the past month my job has become considerably more tolerable, though I hope that I can find something else soon. It’s the part of the movie where the hero learns that his company makes the chemical that turns people into CHUD, but he stays anyway – more afraid of unemployment than conspiring with evil. This is generally considered the best part of the movie… for everyone but the main character. For my birthday I received lots of cool music, including an amazing CD from you’re old A&M label-mate Lani Hall. Her “Brasil Nativo” from 1998 is a hauntingly beautiful release that showcases her warm, clear vocals. If you don’t already have it Claudine, I would highly suggest that you seek it out. The first song “Tres Curumins” made me cry on my way to work – and not just because I was on my way to work.

Hopefully,
Bradley

How Insensitive

Dear Claudine,

How have you been? I hope that you had a romantic Valentine’s Day! I meant to write you on the 14th, just to check in, but the past few days have been very stressful at work. On Valentine’s Day proper, I had the dubious task of moving two work computers to our new office downtown. The company hired movers for our furniture, but left it up to the employees to handle our heavy computers/monitors/cords and extra bullsh*t. With no convenient parking. In the chilly cold. During rush hour. I actually brought a camera to work to document how ridiculous it was for the company to impose such a thing. But I couldn’t bring myself to memorialize such a pathetic moment. However I did want to share just in case your Valentine’s Day wasn’t so stellar either. You could simply compare it to mine and not feel so bothered. My day did get considerably better when I finally made it home to my partner Dan. We listened to records and had a nice romantic meal. Then I got stoned out of my mind and tried to forget my regrettable situation.

How Insensitive,
Bradley